Give him a Mask and he Will Tell you the Truth
by ThatBlazingLook
Summary: "I have to talk to Dr.Palmer. I have to talk to someone that saw her that night." Toby Cavanaugh is on a mission - on a mission to find out what really happened to his mom - on a mission to find out what A has on him - on a mission to find out the truth. My take on the Toby & Spencer storyline. Post 4x03
1. Chapter 1: A Meeting

The mindless hum of the elevator and the consistent breath of it's other occupier were all Toby Cavanaugh tried to focus on. It wasn't working. All he could hear was his heart pounding in his ears.

The lift stopped on the third level and the business attire occupant exited to join the rest of those at Wilmer and Sons Paper Company, rushing from place to place.

The doors shut and Toby was utterly alone.

He glanced to his side, Spencer was suppose to be there. They had made plans to meet outside of the office building at 2. When Spencer would be finished with school and Toby was on his lunch break. But as time ticked by and 2 turned to 2:30, Toby decided he had to move now before his limited time was up. Besides, he had said he would arrive before the end of the day when he had called a few days prior.

He nervously wrung his hands. This was unlike Spencer to be late like this. Not when they had made plans to meet there. Not when she know how important it was to him.

That was an additive to his already unnerved stomach. As the time flew by Toby became more panicked. Knots formed in his stomach, something felt wrong, and with a girlfriend like Spencer, more things were likely to go wrong than for most. How many times had the girl almost died again?

He kicked himself for thinking such a thing and instinctively grabbed his truck keys. The meeting would have to wait. Meetings could be rescheduled, emergencies could not.

He was about to start the ignition to his old pick-up when his phone buzzed. His heart leapt, hoping it was a response to his many frantic messages, the latest being **I'm coming to get you**.

**I'm so sorry. Go up without me. I'll explain later. -Spence**

He took a deep breathe, but his guard wasn't quite down yet, this could easily be a fake text, done by a certain one letter alias. But something about it was telling him it wasn't.

He sighed. The text was very general and very un-descriptive for her not having shown up and only just sending him a text half an hour later. _I'll explain later._ it said. He trusted her and he knew she would, he know she wouldn't have ditched him unless it was something that demanded her immediate attention. Especially not with something like this. But just because he understood didn't mean he wasn't the least bit upset about it.

There was a moment where he almost considered going to her anyway. If it was that important, he wanted to be there for her. But the generality of the text made him hesitate, perhaps she wasn't in the position to text. Those were carefully chosen words, picked on limited time. **Go in without me** and although he rather wouldn't have, he knew he must. He knew he wasn't going to be able to sleep at night unless he did. And she must have known that too.

So he rode the elevator up to the seventh floor of the building off the Philly interstate parkway. 387 West Elm street. Clutching an old Manila folder in his hands so he might just be able to get some sleep that night.

The lift stopped yet again, but the level read six, another occupant got on and Toby glanced at his watch. He only had another 20 minutes for his lunch break and he wasn't sure if that was enough time to get all the answers he needed.

Finally the elevator opened onto the sevenths floor and Toby stepped out, waiting to hear the lift doors close behind him. He stepped forward and was greeted by a tall oversized desk with a small petite women standing behind it, scribbling things on a large stack of notepads. _Addison's Therapy Office_ the sign read behind her.

The women glanced up at Toby, looked back down to finish whatever she was scribbling and returned her gaze upward with a warm, standing-on-glass smile. It was almost as though she could feel Toby's anxiousness. "Can I help you with something?"

Toby cleared his throat. "I'm looking for Dr. Palmer, my names Toby Cavanaugh. He told me I could come in and see him."

"Do you have an appointment?" The receptionist asked.

"Um - no I'm not coming in to - I just needed to see - to discuss -" see this is why Spencer was suppose to come with him.

But the women just smiled sympathetically. "I'll phone into his office."

As the women dialed numbers Toby took in more of his surroundings. The walls there painted a soothing light blue and there was nature music - waterfalls, bird chirping, etc. - being played over the loudspeaker. To his left and to his right there were long hallways filled with two of three rooms on each side until the walls turned a corner. Breaking into two more hallways.

"He'll be right out, he has a patient right now, you can sit and wait if you please." She lifted her arm towards an area behind him, he turned his head to find a large white sofa and floral patterned chairs surrounding a wooden oak table with hairpin legs.

"Thank you" Toby sputtered, still not over his meaningless babble from before.

He was about to sit on the sofa when he looked down at his clothes. He still had dirt and sawdust all over himself from work, it seems he was too preoccupied in the parking lot to dust himself off. And the cleanliness of the office told him it wouldn't be appropriate if he did so now. Just as well, he was too frazzled to sit anyway. He proceeded to pace back an forth in the waiting room like he was waiting for a loved one to get out of surgery. This awarded him many cautious glances from the receptionist.

It seemed he was too focused on being nervous he hadn't noticed the two people that had entered the lobby. One older man made a b-line for the elevator while another talked to the women at the desk. Toby froze and stared at the pair, but tried to look nonchalant when the women nodded towards him. The bespectacled, graying man was in front of him only a moment later.

"Toby Cavanaugh? I'm Dr. Palmer." He held out his hand for Toby to shake, and he did. "Would you like to come into my office?"

"Um, sure" he replied, tightly holding the folder in his hand before following the man to the left and through a door at the end of the hall.

The room was large and comforting, exactly what you'd want your therapists office to be like. Toby still remembered the number of therapists offices he'd been in over the years. Between the ones he'd seen while his mom was in Radley and the ones he'd seen after her death, to the ones he'd seen in Juevie and the ones he'd seen in reform school, Toby had seen more comfortable sofas and doctors with clip board than he would have liked. He use to find the sessions helpful, a place where he could talk about his feelings over his mothers condition and have someone tell him 'it's not your fault' but later he found them turn into a place of judgement, 'why did you feel you needed to harm your sister' 'how long have you been having these sycophantic thoughts?'. It torn at him; each session he wanted to come clean more and more, but he kept hearing Alison's voice in his head, "I'll tell everyone you've been doing it with your sister!". And who would believe him anyway? Toby who blinded his sister, Toby, with the mentally unstable mother, Toby the suspected murderer…

"Toby?"

Toby left his thoughts, "Yes? Sorry."

"That's quite alright" there was an awkward beat, "Would you like to sit?" he said, motioning to a chair.

The sight of the fluffy chair made him sick but he figured the conversation would be hard enough without having to worry about standing up on his own two feet. He took the offer and took the seat directly across from him. _If he pulls out a clip board I swear_ he thought.

The doctor opened his mouth slightly, hesitated, then closed it, as though thinking better of speaking. Toby looked at him earnestly.

"I can see a lot of your mother in you - the eyes particularly."

"So you remember her?"

"Yes… slightly, it's been a few years -"

"Six"

The doctor shifted uncomfortably. "Yes well…" He regained his composure "What was it exactly you wanted to see me for? You had said on the phone about some papers -"

"I found these," Toby said, suddenly growing more confident, placing the file he held onto the table between the two chairs, "they're from the day my mother - when she killed herself".

Toby opened the file to a particular page, then spun it around to face . "It said that you talked to her - that you talked to her only a few hours before she did it."

Dr. Palmer perched his glasses atop his head and examines the page.

He coughed "Yes, I spoke to her before going home for the day." He flipped the page over and examines it lightly, "I don't understand what you want from me here, you have my entire report, I don't know what extra information you think I can supply -"

"I just want to know why my mother would say what she said to you - why she would say she wants to go home and 'plan for the future' and then jump out a window a few hours later." He demanded.

"I'll admit, I was - I was surprised. Her pleas to make up for lost time - to be back with you - all seemed very genuine." He hesitated, "She really did love you, that was never a question while I saw her, she would talk about you, a lot."

Toby's rebuttal caught in his throat. "Do you have - do you have any of the transcripts from any of your other sessions with her?"

"Yes, I keep a record of all my sessions with all my patients." He got up from his seat and moved over towards the filing cabinets in the back of his room. "Hers' may not be here though, I moved a lot of my former patients papers when I changed offices -"

Tobys nerves jolted, "Where do you keep them?"

"Oh we have a storage block in town" he replied, still rummaging through the cabinet. "Ah - yes that's where it must be. If you'd like I could call you when I get over there and find them. I will need some further identification before I can release them too you though…. how did you get to those anyway?" He said, motioning towards the stack of papers on the table.

Toby gulped, god he hated lying to people. "They were released to my father, after her death."

"Ah, yes I must have had to leave them for the coroner." The nonchalant way in which he said that made it seem as though he forgot who he was talking to. When he came to, he apologized. "I'm sorry I -" he sat back down in his chair across from Toby, brow furrowed. "I realize how hard this all must have been for you, going through something like this. One never really get's over loosing their mother, especially not in such a way -"

"Thank you ," Toby was really not in the mood for someone to needle and pick at his 'feelings'. He came here for answers, not for a phyc evaluation. With great relief he stood up out of the death chair. "but I really need to get back to work, my lunch break's nearly over." At least that wasn't a lie. "Thank you for taking the time to talk to me and I'd really appreciate if you would call me once you find that file."

stood up quickly, surprised at the sudden shift in Toby's behavior. "Sure - yes - I'll call the number you left with us."

"That's fine, thank you" Toby quickly closed the file on the table and set his sights on the exit. He was nearly there when he heard a voice behind him.

"Toby," he said gently, like Toby was a delicate flower, an inch away from breaking. God he hated being talked to like that. That's how people use to talk to his mother. "If you'd ever like to talk about it you could schedule -"

"I'm sorry Dr. Palmer, really, I'm going to be late if I don't leave now."

The doctor closed his mouth in defeat, and nodded his head understandingly as though he deals with this kind of suppressed emotion all the time.

Toby didn't know how he got down to the parking lot so fast but he was beyond glad. He quickly shoved his folder into his glove compartment, started the engine of his truck and got on the highway before he had time to reassess his little meeting.

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There may not be much Spencer/Toby action in this chapter but I promise there is more to come! This story isn't just a fluff filled mess, it really focused on the problems that both Spencer and Toby are facing this season. BUT that's not to say you wont get a fair amount of awwww moments too!


	2. Chapter 2: To the Surface

**Thank you all for all the kind words and follows and favorites! They made me so happy!**

**Also, keep in mind, almost all of this was written before 4x04 and is in no way based off of it. Enjoy Chapter two!**

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It already felt like a long day when Toby returned to work at around a quarter after 3. He tried to jump right back in, distracting himself in wood stain and power tools, but those kind of things only distracted his hand. His mind, on the other hand, had space to wonder...

"Toby, get me those 2x8's?" A voice broke in, "Henry's comin' around the back with 'em."

Toby obediently obeyed his bosses wishes. Walking around the side of the construction riden colonial, he went over to the green truck that was slowly pulling through an opening in the fence. Once it came to a stop, the driver walked around the back and popped the trunk.

"Jim says he wants 'em in the dining room." Henry said and Toby instinctively grabbed a few and heaved them over his shoulder, heading back towards the houses back door. He was about to place the boards down when his phone started ringing in his back pocket. He took it out to turn it off, Jim didn't usually like them taking calls on the job. Before hitting end, Toby quickly glanced at the caller. It was Spencer. He stowed the phone back in his pocket. It seems that she was going to have to wait like he had.

He helped Henry finish unloading the rest of the material and began his previous work of helping another worker with applying the crown molding along the living room ceiling. That's when his phone ran again. Spencer. He glanced at the guy next to him, who glanced behind him; he could hear Jim heading outside, saying something about a buzzsaw. There was no one else in the room. The man looked back at Toby and shrugged his shoulders.

Toby hit answer.

"Spencer you know not to call me at work." He spoke in a hushed tone.

"I know, I'm sorry!" She sounded upset, Toby's heart sank. "I just needed to -"

"Spence what's the matter?"

"No I - it's just Melissa - I'm - " he could tell she was trying to pull herself together. "I'm fine." Fine surprisingly meant a lot in their situations. Fine didn't mean you weren't an emotional reck but fine meant that you were alive. And that counted for a lot. "How was… how was the meeting? I'm so sorr-"

"I can't really talk about it right now" he said turning towards the wall, he could hear Jim heading back into the dinning room, shouting orders behind him.

"Right, I'm sorry, I'll - I'll talk to you when you get home." And she hung up before he could say anything. He stowed the phone away and went back to applying molding. Hoping he could get lost in his work and not think about what could have possibly happened to make Spencer so upset, not that her life was full of happiness on a regular basis anyway but still…

It was highly unlikely that he'd be able to get his mind off it, though, at least that hasn't been the case with his conversation with . His head was a whirlwind of worry and questioning. He just tried his best to make sure no one could see that as he glued pieces of wood to the wall.

He finished up a few hours later. Around six o'clock. He was suppose to leave earlier but it had started to rain just as they were about to leave, and they had to make sure all their equipment was protected for the next morning.

Mentally and physically drained, Toby slugged up the metal stairs to his apartment. Water pounding hard against him. Once he reached the top of the stairs, what he found on the other side of the door did nothing to ease his tired stature. Spencer was pacing, back and forth, between the kitchen and living room, her heels clicking across the hard wood. Her hand was to her mouth, she seemed to be biting her fingernails. She stopped when she saw him, and lowered it from her mouth.

"Hey." was all she said.

"Spencer what is going on?"  
She didn't hesitate, words just began to spill out of her mouth in such a rushed form she wasn't sure if she was speaking coherently."It's Melissa." she began,

"She _was_ on the Halloween train, she put Aria in the box, she was working with Wilden, she followed Alison to that mask maker. Toby…" Her voice cracked and her eyes began to weal up, "Toby I think she killed her." she squeaked.

"Hey," he said as he cleared the space between them. She immediately clung to his body for support and he placed his head protectively atop hers. "What happened?"

"I went - I went to check on the mask, when I got home from school, to make sure it was still where I'd hidden it and - and it was gone - no one had been in the house for hours except Melissa so I - I went to go find her. She was in the backyard - I confronted her and she denied she knew anything about it." She pulled away from Toby, only slightly so that she was still within arms reach, and wiped a tear from her chin. "I told her I knew - I knew she had seen the mask maker and that Alison had seen him too. I - I told her I knew she followed her there."

"And what did she say?"

_**Flashback: a few hours earlier**_

"What, because everything has to revolve around that little bitch?" Melissa spat.

"No, because I know you don't go spending your afternoons getting your face plastered." Spencer snippingly replied, the cool breeze cutting against their backs.

"You don't know me."

Spencer stared in disbelief at her sister. At her fine made curls framing her face; the same face she use to envy.

"No I don't know you Melissa. All I know is some pompous girl, who was over focused on being the best and would do anything to get what she wanted."

"Are we talking about me or you?"

Spencer huffed, "Does it matter? We're both not the same people we were a year ago."

"You're right Spencer, we've both evolved. We're no longer just the preppy little Hastings girls. We've both had to deal with some stuff. But now that stuff is over and I think we both need to bury the hatchet."

_Clever word choice sis_ "But it's not over Melissa! And it won't be until we find out who killed Alison! And Wilden and Garett…"

Melissa rolled her eyes dramatically. "Oh give it up Spencer! You know there are people who've devoted their entire careers to solving these types of things?"

"Yeah and it seems that the ones that get killed in the process are able to form an exclusive little club in the afterlife!" Spencer retorted. "But then again, they didn't have simply a business like attachment to the case, did they? But you already knew that, didn't you Melissa?"

"What is that suppose to mean?"

"It means I know you were at Cape May that summer with Ali, Cece and Wilden. I know you know Ali was hooking up with Wilden, just like she was doing with Ian. I know you went and got your face cloned by that shady mask maker. And I know you were at the DiLarentis's house the night she died too, _after_ that video of you in her bedroom. So what else haven't you told me that I had to find out on my own? What else haven't you told me about all the time you spent with my friend -".

"_Pff_! Friend?" Melissa scoffed, "I don't think you even believe that anymore. Whatever Alison was it wasn't a friend, to anyone. That girl only cared about two things, herself and other people's secrets."

"What kind of secrets Melissa? Ones like you've been hiding?" Spencer howled snippily

Melissa glared at her, "I don't have to report to you" turning her back to retreat to the Hastings Barn in the distance.

"I've been trying to figure this out for two years." Spencer bellowed after her, a sudden surge of weakness flooding her system. She wasn't sure why, but she decided to release all her pent up frustration at this moment. She knew it wasn't safe, Melissa couldn't be trusted for all the reasons listed before. But maybe this sense of vulnerability was all Melissa would need to trust _her_. "I've been harassed, arrested, and nearly killed more times than anyone who's still alive has…" She gave out an exhausted sigh. "I'm so tired, Melissa, you're right I'm done. I just want answers. I want the closure I should have gotten two years ago."

"Fine Spence, you want some answers?" Melissa's voice was turning acidic with fury. "Yeah, I was with that group in Cape May and I did know about her an Wilden, the little slut was running around with half of Rosewood. She was fifteen and she was seeing more guys per week than she could keep straight. So yeah, I followed her to that creepy shop to see what she was up to. I only got that guy to open his yap when I let him mold my face for his Lady Macbeth sculpture. He told us Alison had been coming because she wanted her face permanently immortalized for after she died, probably planed on handing them out as favors to her funeral party. A few dollars later and he was able to hand us a few copies…"

"Us?"

"Yes, Cece Drake was with me. I seems she wanted some answers out of Alison too."

"But why Melissa - why would you want masks of Alison's face? What kind of answers would that get you?" Spencer questioned snidely.

A small smirk grew on Melissa's face, eyeing her sister knowingly, "It's always helpful to have something over someone else."

"What does that mean?" Spencer spoke, her nerves tingling.

"It means I know things about you too, Spencer."

Memories flashed before Spencer's eyes like violent rain. Her kiss with Ian. Her kiss with Wren. The Jenna thing. Her forged presidential election. Her plagiarized paper. Spencer had done so many things she'd regretted. So many things she wish she could forget but knew she had to live with. They ate away at her everytime someone looked at her with innocence or praise. But she was done being scared by them. She's heard this threat before. She wasn't going to let Melissa intimidate her. If there was one thing she learned from all this it was that the truth will find it's way to the surface no matter why you do to try and stop it.

"Did you kill her? Did you kill Alison?"

"Wow, so blunt Spencer, you really have changed." She snipped as she turned to continue walking away from the house, away from Spencer, away from the vital question.

"Melissa!" Spencer's phone sounded. She stopped in pursuit of her sister and looked at it. 10 new messages and 3 new voicemails. She cursed violently, how had she forgotten? She checked the time, 2:32. She had been so caught up in her brawl with Melissa she had forgotten where she was headed once she got home.  
She opened the messages.

**Where are you?**

**Spence**

**What's going on?**

**I'm coming to get you**

She cursed again as Melissa disappeared behind the wooden walls of the barn. She wanted more answers, that last one especially but then she thought of Toby and how hard it was for him to make this appointment with and how she had promised to go with him, to support him. She nearly kicked herself, how could she have been so tactless? She glanced at the time again, she'd never make it in time, not before Toby had to get back to work. And she didn't want him to reschedule, it was hard enough for him to do it in the first place. He needed answer just like she did.

**I'm so sorry. Go up without me. I'll explain later. - Spence**

She hated doing this too him but she figured it was better for him to get his answers without her than not at all. He hadn't slept in days, constantly fawning over the documents details that he had receiver a few days prior. She knew this because he had called her up one of those sleepless nights in a drowsy agitated state, mumbling apologies and crackpot theories about his mother. That kind of behavior prompted her to stay with him every night since then, just so he wouldn't have to spend those restless nights alone. What did Spencer's parents care anyway? They were always off in Philly or off in some conference somewhere, not even aware whether their daughter was sleeping in her own bed or not.

She shut her phone, afraid of some indignant response. She hoped he would get the message and not think she was being inconsiderate, even if that's how she felt.

She looked up toward the back of the yard. Besides, she thought, she had a few more questions she needed to ask Melissa before she packed up and headed off to her suspiciously timed 'internship'.

_**Present**_

"I went to the barn where I'd seen her go in," Spencer said to Toby, thinking the more she said, the easier for him to understand and, better yet, forgive her. "but she wasn't in there. I was _sure_ I saw her go in there."

Toby locked eyes with her, not sure what to say for a a few moments. His slight frustration with her for leaving him to his own battle was slowly but surely melting away from his body as he looked at her distressed form.

"Did you tell them? Did you tell the girls about this?" He asked

"I couldn't, not yet - I just - I felt so guilty for leaving you there and -" she was tearing up again.

"Hey, Spence it's fine" he pulled her towards him again. "I'm fine."

"Just tell me - just tell me what happened" she sniffed.

He sighed, stepping over to the couch, the exhaustion setting in once more. "Honestly, not much, you didn't miss out."

"We'll what did he say?" She spoke. "Did he remember her?"

"Slightly, he said." Toby said. "He said he remembers being surprised by her decision." Spencer looked at him sympathetically.  
"He said he'd give me transcripts from his other meetings with her, once he found them."

"Where are they?"

"Some storage facility in Philly" he said, disinterested. He didn't tell her what he really thought. That it was highly convenient all his mothers papers were in some single lock facility that was vacant 90% of the time.

"Well, alright" Spencer spoke, clearly calming down, at the change in subject, plopping herself next to him "at least _you're_ getting some answers."

Toby placed an arm around her shoulder that she leaned into. He wanted to say 'you'll get your answers too' but he couldn't muster a lie. He had no idea if she was going to get answers, she'd been doing this little back and forth for years now. Each answer seemed to end with more questions and someone else dead.

He kissed the top of her head lightly and she move in closer to his body. They sat there quietly for a while while he wondered if telling her what he thought would make her feel better or worse. Not that he didn't think she was going to get any answers anytime soon but that he didn't think he was any closer to getting his answers than she was.

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**The way I wrote Toby's work scene kind of left me with a feeling that I don't respect what he does which is not the case at all! I just felt that Toby was feeling very blase today and I was just trying to express that. I have immense respect for carpenters. I once watched two men build my entire staircase from scratch in all of 10 minutes! That takes skills man. Nothing but respect.**

***Update: I realized I made Spencer and Toby sit down on the couch twice so I fixed that little mishap haha**

**Chapter three coming soon!**


	3. Chapter 25: Restless Nights

**So chapter 3 is coming on a lot slower than I would have liked, _it's not because I'm not working on it I promise_. I just keep writing... then rewriting... then rewriting again because I only want to give you guys my best. I'm _so close_ to finishing it but I really wanted to publish the next chapter before the next episode. So here's this little drabble that I wrote about something I mentioned in chapter 2, I thought I would be able to fit it in somewhere but I wasn't able to. Please don't hate me for updating and only giving you a mini chapter! I promise I'm working hard to make chapter 3 the best I can and I'm hoping it will be up very soon! **

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_Chapter 2: He hadn't slept in days, constantly fawning over the documents details that he had receiver a few days prior. She knew this because he had called her up one of those sleepless nights in a drowsy agitated state, mumbling apologies and crackpot theories about his mother. That kind of behavior prompted her to stay with him every night since then, just so he wouldn't have to spend those restless nights alone._

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Most nights they would just lay there, his arm laying protectively over her torso, grabbing hold of her hand on the other side. They would lay like that most of the night until Spencer would awake to agitated breathing behind her. Those were not the calm soothing breathes of someone who was asleep at 4 in the morning. And yet all night, he remained in the same spot, his arm dangling off of her while her crystal brown locks fit almost directly into the crook of his neck. He didn't move his position until she turned her body over, greeting herself with baby blue eyes that were intoxicating and also very much alert.

"I'm not being much help am I?" She hummed, as though afraid to disturb the quiet of the night.

"Why aren't you asleep?" He said, his voice horse.

She gave him a look "I think it's me who's suppose to be asking that question."

"I'm fine" _Fine_, it seemed that fine was the only word they could use anymore. Nothing was great, no one was fantastic, everything was just fine.

She grabbed hold of his hand atop the covers, gazing at him sympathetically.

"Don't give me that Spencer, really I'm fine."

"I know your fine but I don't want you to be fine. I want you to be good, great, phenomenal even!" She pronounce with inflection, he chuckled. She looked at him seriously. "Do you think we'll ever have that?" Her eyes were pleading.

He sighed, "I don't know Spence. I mean I want all those things for us too but -" he focused in on her eyes, still pleading for an answer, he questioned lying too her, telling her that they're already there or that they'd get there soon, but those were not eyes for an easy answer, those were eyes for the truth. "I have a feeling we're gonna have to put up with fine for a while."

Her cheerless profile remained for a few moments before a small smirk crept along her face, her eyes glowing, "Well" she said, "I'd still rather fine over a million other answers."

"Is this Spencer Hastings looking on the bright side?" He spoke in mock shock.

She rolled her eyes at him. "It's a lot easier to focus on the bad, to the point where it seems like thats all there is, but I've realized that there's still time to appreciate the good that there is in my life, that's the only thing that keeps me pushing on through the bad." She smiled at him.

He shifted slightly in the bed, positioning himself at perfect eye level with her. He brushed a strand of her hair behind her ear. "What are these good things you speak of?" he spoke jocularly.

She rolled her eyes again before leaning in closely, "I'm not going to dignify that snide question with a response."

"Yeah?" He said poking her under the covers. She smiled brightly, laughing. "Yeah, I mean you're alright…" She said her grin growing wider. This awarded her with more poking, which quickly turned into violent titillations causing her to howl with laughter. "No - Toby - stop" she squeaked between laughs.

"Wow I didn't know Spencer Hastings was so ticklish." He mused as she flailed. "Definitely gonna have to keep that in mind…"

"_Toby!_" she aired breathlessly and he finally let up, concluding with Toby laying almost directly over Spencer. He leaned down and fit his lips against hers but then pulled away slightly, "Am I still only alright?" he harped.

'I'll put up with you" She spoke against his lips.

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**Short I know! I promise chapter 3 will be up soon!**

** Meanwhile be excited for tonights episode, Spoby road trip!**


	4. Chapter 3: Unrest

**So this took _a lot_ longer than intended and I'm really really sorry for that! I have this problem that the longer I sit and stew about my writing and keep reading it over, the more I want to rewrite almost everything. I did that on my english AP test for petes sake, I was so confident when I handed it in yet by the next day I was convinced I had failed. I'm a perfectionist that way. I hit some road blocks with this chapter but I've come to the conclusion that I need to just accept it the way it is. I mean you guys aren't looking for perfection, you're just looking for a story right? **

**Am I not making this chapter appealing to you? All things aside I think it did turn out good and I hope I was able to keep Toby and Spencer as in character as wanted... you'll have to tell me how I did.**

**Enjoy!**

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Their calmness in sitting there, on Tobys' couch, made it clear that both Toby and Spencer knew nothing could be done about either of their predicaments that night. They weren't heading off to confront Melissa and it wasn't as though had headed off straight away to look for some old patient papers. So Toby decided it was better they didn't stew about their problems either.

"Let's order in." he said suddenly. "Chinese?"

Spencer looked at him with surprise which quickly melted into relief.

"I'd love some."

After leaving momentarily to retrieve the food that was only a walks way from brew, Spencer and Toby found comfort in the confines of his old futon and some bad game shows. They sat, they ate and they laughed at stupid jokes. It was nice, for a little while at least, to compete at Jeopardy and be a normal couple. One that worried about who would pay for the popcorn at movies and argue over what television show to watch.

Though, a competitive game was never really a good idea with Spencer.

"It was the SA node!'" She shouted at the television jumping up from her seat. "The Sinoatrial node sends impulses to the heart causing it to contract!"

"Well Alex said it was the Aintioventricular node so -"

Spencer gave a huff and sat back down onto the sofa. Toby looked at her, grinning, he found her competitive spirit hilarious and one of the many amazing things that made Spencer, Spencer.

He was still glad she didn't see his smirk though, with her eyes focused solely on the blue game board on the screen, because when she was this riled up, it was dangerous to look at her the wrong way.

_"What are you looking at?"_

All the sudden, whenever there was completion involved, Spencer turned into your common schoolhouse bully.

But maybe she needed that, some way of letting out her frustration, her anger, her inability to control her own life. Maybe she needed a game on a piece of cardboard with fake money as some way of proving her strength.

Not that she really needed too. The way Toby saw it, she proved her strength every time she made the decision to get out of bed and keep going when there was still a psychopath threatening to ruin her and everyone she loves' lives.

"The Persian Gulf." Spencer shouted out before anyone had even hit their buzzer.

Toby had nearly forgotten their unofficial contest. But it didn't matter, Jeopardy was one of those games Spencer usually won anyway, scrabble on the other hand…

Spencer always thought bringing out the biggest and most scholarly words she could think of would get her the crown when they played. The girl was like a human dictionary. But throwing out chronomentrophobia didn't always win gold. Toby always seemed to find a way to use his letters more wisely, even if he was only putting down octopus.

Spencer suddenly shouted out more answers, eloping herself in hype that the contestants, who actually had a chance of winning hundreds of thousands of dollars, felt.

It wasn't until the clock struck twelve and Tobys yawning came on a minutely basis that Spencer seemed to get uncomfortable. She had abandoned leaning on his shoulder to curl her legs up to her chest, resting her head on her knees as though she wished she took up less space. Then she'd continue to chance cautious glances at him before returning her attention back to the flashing figures in front of her. After more uncomfortable minutes passed, with Toby almost completely ignorant from exhaustion, Spencer shifted her body to face him.

"Look Toby, I know you have work in the morning… if you wanna go to bed…" She spoke smalley, like she didn't want to say it. But her determined expression went against her voice, as though they were having a silent battle. Her voice said she didn't want to say it but her face said that she must.

Toby ran his fingers quickly over his eyes. "No Spence, I'm fine" the sleepiness still evident in his voice.

"I'm not stupid Tobes, you've been drifting in and out since we started Leno."

He couldn't deny it, he was sure the bags under his eyes were going to make sure of that. "It's just been a long day…"

"I know, I know..." She looked down, ashamed. He had clearly wanted to end the night as soon as he walked through the front door. But Spencer had pushed on, making him stay up through hours of mindless television. The word selfish seemed to ring out in her ears.

"Spence…?" He looked at her with concern. It took her a moment to met his gaze.

"I just - um -" she spoke softly, unsure of her words, "my parents are out of town and it's just Melissa and I…"

Even in his drowsy state, Toby could pick up on the clues. He took her hand in his. "Spence you know you're always welcome to stay here-"

"No I know - I just …" she stubbled, searching for what to say that could possibly get her point across.

"Spencer…" he looked at her knowingly, "there's something you're not telling me."

She dropped her eyes to her hands and bit her lip.

"Wow, thanks for clearing that up."

Why did he have to be so persistent? She looked up at him, annoyance plastering her face. "Toby -"

"No Spencer," he released his grasp on her hand and stood up, annoyed as well, the mix of exhaustion and secret keeping being enough to make him so. "There's something you clearly want to keep from me and I don't get why. What is it that you can't tell me? Why are keeping more secrets? "

"I'm not keeping any secrets from you!" She was standing too, frustration pumping her veins. "I just want to go home!" Her eyes narrowed, "And this conversation is turning a bit hypocritical don't you think?"

He just looked at her, slightly surprised, but didn't know how to respond without denying her claim, which he didn't think he could.

Meanwhile, Spencer took this opportunity to retrieve her purse and other belongings off his kitchen table.

"You don't have to do this!" He shouted out of his daze.

"Do what?" She spoke sourly, hastily shoving her keys and jacket into her hand.

He sighed, trying to make his voice gentle. He finally understood what was going on. Just like with Jeopardy and Scrabble and all those other monotonous games, Spencer had to find a way to prove her strength. "Spence, you're allowed to be afraid -"

"I'm not afraid!" She shouted indignantly, spinning around from her quick attempted leave threw the door. "I can handle my own sister!"

"I didn't say you couldn't -"

"You kinda did!" She spat. "You think I won't be able to take care of myself - like I'm too weak or -"

"That isn't the question here Spencer! It's why you would want to deliberately put yourself back in danger -"

"It's not dangerous, it's my home!"

"With a supposed murderer living in it!" He threw his hands up in disbelief and exhaled deeply. "Look, I'm not one to pass judgement quickly, but if there's even the _slightest_ chance that it could be true…" His voice had since lowered from beating anger to solemn concern. He looked at her with begging eyes and she lost some of her furious adrenaline under them.

"I'll be _fine_" she said determinedly, like it wasn't just him she was trying to convince.

Toby's face of concern grew into that of frustration, again. "So you won't do this for me, you won't do this to yourself - you won't even admit that you're scared -"

"Because I can't be!" She attempted to yell but her voice failed her and cracked mid sentence. "I can't continue to live my life in fear, constantly looking over my shoulder, flinching every time my phone rings, feeling like I can't trust my own family…"

Toby opened his mouth to retort but his words caught in his throat. He couldn't stand seeing her like this anymore. That look in her eyes, that feeling of desperation and exhaustion. That was the reason he joined the A team. He'd known she had been lying to him about A being back and he knew she was lying to him because she thought it was the right thing to do. Because that's what A did, she wasn't just some bully who'd threaten you with the secrets she had on you. A found a way to control you and everything you did, playing with you like you were some sort of doll. A would tell you what to do, who to believe, what to _think._ A convinced you to lie to the people you loved, no matter how much you didn't want to, because she convince you it was what you had to do.

Toby could attest to that.

A changed you. Slowly but surly A changed everyone she came in contact with. Whether that be Lucus or Caleb or Toby himself; but no one was changed by A's wrath more than the girls. A'd turned these girls with a dirty secret and a dead best friend into scared-for-their-lives, paranoid girls with more secrets than they could handle and multiple dead bodies on their hands.

He just hated it. All he wanted to do was keep Spencer safe, and he was sure all she wanted was to be safe, she was just too stubborn from being hurt too many times before. He didn't even think she thought being safe was an option anymore.

"Spence…" He began softly, choosing his words carfully, "I know it's not fair that you have to live like this but you can't just deny a danger right in front of you because you're tired of dealing with them. Going home tonight wouldn't be brave it would just be stupid. It wont prove anything, it could just get you killed. That's what you feel so why can't you -?"

She cut him off, "Oh well thank you very much for telling me how I feel -" she spat sarcastically.

"Don't pull that -"

"No," she said mockingly, "what I feel _now_ is all warm and fuzzy about the sister who's supposedly going to kill me in my sleep tonight -"

"Spencer -" Toby responded annoyed.

"No ya know what, I really don't feel like having this fight tonight," it was twelve am and she was yelling at the person she felt guilty for ditching only a few hours prior "I don't think either of us want to." She spoke, her adrenaline bubbling down.  
She was already battling A and Melissa (if those _were_ two separate entities), she really didn't need to add her boyfriend to the mix.  
She threw her keys defeatedly on the counter. "I'll stay." She said with finality.

He rubbed the back of his neck tiredly. "Thank you." He said, not with a sense of victory but with a sense of relief.

It seemed dangerous to end like this, so unresolved. But Spencer was right, if they kept going they'd just keep arguing through the night, they were both to hot headed for their own good. So they left it at that, neither of them having enough energy to carry on.

They cleaned up the remnants of their take out without a single word, mindlessly putting cartons into garbage cans and washing silverware. Then, as a large yawn escaped Toby, he retreated into his bedroom while Spencer hovered in the kitchen a few moments longer.

She hated this, being in this state of unrest. She'd thought that ending their disagreement was the best thing to do, but stoping it before everything that needed to be said was said felt dangerous now.

After heading into the bathroom to ready herself for bed, many of her things still there from her stays the previous week, she quietly slid into the bedroom. She wasn't surprised when she found Toby fast asleep under the covers of his bed, his face slammed against his pillow. A feeling of relief washed over her. She was glad, both because the day had been both physically and emotionally draining for him and because it meant she could avoid more awkward silence.

She hesitated next to the bed. Everything felt so raw and uncomfortable between them. She, silently contemplated turning around and going to sleep on the couch in the living room or, just leaving and going home. Toby wouldn't realize until morning anyway.

She laughed at the thought, after all that fighting over it, it _would_ only be that easy.

Toby gave a small snore and turned over onto his back. Spencer couldn't help but let out a small smirk. Whatever their fight had been about, Spencer couldn't just deliberately cause him pain. And leaving, after she said she wouldn't, in the dead of night while he was asleep and could do nothing to stop her, seemed like it would do that.

She pulled back the covers of the unoccupied side of the mattress, and hesitated for another moment before joining him, curling awkwardly to the side so all she felt was the cool sheets against her skin. She heard another snore and peeked over her shoulder, to find Toby sprawled out next to her with his mouth slightly ajar. She looked back again and returned to her isolated state. This didn't seem like it would be one of those night where they'd sleep soundlessly in each others arms.

Spencer let out an sigh in attempts to relax and shut her eyes tightly, trying to stop her thoughts. _It was just a stupid fight. They'd gotten through much worse. It'll be fine._

Then suddenly a beep sounded from the other room. Spencers' eyes shot open and she carefully removed herself from bed at the familiar sound. Her heart started beating heavily, something in her gut was telling her it wasn't her parents or the girls wondering where she was at 12 in the morning. She quietly crept into the bathroom where he saw her cell phone perched next to the sink. She picked it up.

**Trouble is paradise? Nothing ever stays good for long Spencer. You should know that by now. Kisses -A**

She quickly looked behind her at the man still sleeping soundlessly in the other room. She wasn't even going to question how A knew about they're squabble, there was no use wondering how A knew anything anymore. Besides it shouldn't surprise her, who knows what kind of stuff A installed in Toby's apartment when he joined the A team. Spencer suddenly felt uneasy, looking rapidly around the room as though she'd suddenly notice a big security camera hanging from the ceiling.

She put her phone carefully back on the counter and retreated into the darkness of the bedroom. Her knees hit into something soft and, once again, she hesitated for a moment. But this time, she didn't think about her and Tobys awkward silences and all the things they'd left unsaid. Spencer got into bed and scooted as close to Toby as she could, not stopping until she hit body. He stirred slightly at her touch and turned over again, this time towards her, instinctively wrapping his arms around her in his sleep, grasping her in a way that was both soft and protective.

Spencer shut her eyes again. She tried to focus on matching her racing heart to his and force the text message from her mind. But pictures of what A couple have in store swirled in her head. _He was here,_ she told herself, _right beside her, holding her like he always did, nothing had changed, everything was okay._

**Nothing ever stays good for long.**

It took her hours before she was able to let the slow steady breathes behind her carry her into sleep.

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**What'd ya think? Thumbs up? Thumbs down? Would it help if I told you that in my rough draft I wrote _Nothing ever stays food for long _instead of good? ... it's actually pretty true if you think about it**

**Also, if you haven't come to realize from this chapter and the last, I love when couples sleep together. I mean sleep sleep not sex sleep, I just think it's one of the sweetest most innocent things. You can't hide things or be angry when you're sleeping. Everything is honest and innocent and when you truly love someone, no matter what kind of fight you've had, everything is forgotten in sleep. You just become two people who love each other unconditionally and protect each other instinctively. **

**If you don't agree I think you should go watch the season 3 finale again... and read The Hunger Games: Catching Fire.**

**Also Also, Fun Fact: chronomentrophobia = fear of clocks **

**You're welcome :)**


	5. Chapter 4: Good Old Days

**Hey so how 'bout be forget that it's been over a month since I've last updated... I actually can't believe it's been that long. :( It all started with my *minor* setback a few weeks ago when I was almost finished when the entire thing got deleted and I nearly had a mental breakdown. Yeah, minor setback. Anyway, started over from scratch, attempted to sew together anything I could remember (which was basically nothing) before i finally accepted it and stopped cursing out my word processor. And now, after finishing it, I actually think in turned out better than the other would have. Or at least a hell of a lot longer. Like I had to cut off a good chunk of it toward the end to save for the next chapter. Anyway, the moral of this annoyingly long story? Always back up your writing (or never write in the notes section of your I-phone) (…what it's very convenient for when an idea strikes me) (and I can nonchalantly write in front of people)... Okay, enjoy! **

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It was a short time later that Spencer was awakened to beams of sun peaking through her eyelids in the form of early morning light. The rays pried her eyes open unwillingly, causing her to make a groan of protest. She shifted uncomfortable in bed, stretching her stiff muscles. As she moved, she took in her surroundings. Her first acknowledgement, she no longer felt the warmth of the body that had been next to her all night. The feeling was validated when she turned over and found nothing but a creased pillow beside her.

Then suddenly, a pleasant scent filled her senses. Something hot and savory. The smell was met with the crackling of a frying pan, the combined effort of which was enough to draw her up from her restlessness.

She pulled Toby's T-shirt down over her shorts as the shock of cold air hit her. She slowly crept out the doorway and into the hall as all her senses began to enunciate the clear finality of food.

But still, as she entered the kitchen, she couldn't help but be surprised by what she found. Her boyfriend, the one she had slain with sarcastic comments a few short hours prior, was standing hunched over the stove top, creating something her nose was clearly telling her she wanted.

And, despite everything, she couldn't help but look at him in admiration.

It took a few moments before he finally turned and recognized her presence. "Morning." He spoke flatly.

She attempted to quickly whip the glossy look off her face. "Morning." she repeated in monotone.

He turned back to his cooking, "Do you uh - want an egg?" He spoke as he pushed around the contents of the frying pan.

She almost licked her lips at the sight, "Uh no - no I think I'm just gonna," she motioned back the way she'd come, "grab a shower…"

"Right, yeah." He mumbled without looking up.

She hesitated for a moment, her mind wavering on weather or not to leave. It was then that she noticed the two plates he had perched on the table behind the working chef. A lump formed in her throat.

He had expected her to say yes. Despite everything, he was making breakfast for _her_.

She then quickly decided to take her leave, before questioning another move. She didn't think she could spend another moment watching the man that couldn't even give her eye contact. Besides, she did need to shower, for point of cleanliness and a few minutes to think. It wasn't as though she didn't want to eat, in fact, her stomach moaned in revolt, but she needed to form a calculated plain of an attack for the problem A had so eloquently informed her of.

So with a flick of her hair, she was gone, back into the bedroom to retrieve her things, still hearing the sounds of the man shuffling about the kitchen. Another lump formed in her throat but with a guilt far more heavy.

Everything bad that had happened to Toby always seemed to come back to Spencer. Why did Toby have to carry Jenna out of a burning building? Because Spencer and the girls had caused the fire. Why was Toby convicted of setting the fire and set away for a crime he didn't commit? Because Spencer let Ali blackmail him and was too chicken to come clean. Why did he almost get sent to jail for murder? Why had he fallen off that scaffolding? Why did he have to join the A team? Spencer. All answers led back to Spencer. Even his mothers death, before she had even really known him, was turning into something that had to do with Spencer.

A wouldn't have cared, A would have never bothered with Toby had she not brought him into all of this. A was there to torment the girls, in anyway that she could, and what better way than by going after the people they cared about the most?

Apparently threatening them with secrets and torment wasn't enough anymore.

A had escalated things. They'd gone after loved ones before but never like this. Not only did A call family services on the Fields, threatening to take away Emily's family but she was also making look look very guilty for a sort of crime you don't want to look guilty for. Apparently A ran out of ways to hurt the girls directly, and was now forcing them to watch as she destroyed everyone around them.

Spencer felt slightly sick as she undressed and stepped into the shower, the text she received last night still ringing out in her mind. Maybe she was right last year, when she broke up with Toby to protect him. No matter what she did, as long as they were together Toby was in danger. Maybe that's what A meant, they'd never be happy because they'd never be able to escape her rathe. They'd never have a normal relationship where all they worried about was who would pay for dinner. Spencer should have just stayed away, she'd already cost him enough anguish before she'd even fallen for him.

They'd barely had a handful of conversations before he was send off to Juevie. Before the Jenna Thing. Yet still, she found a way to cause him anguish. And she didn't even have anything against him.

There was one particular encounter that still, to this day, stuck out in her memory.

It was the first time Spencer had ever talked to Toby alone, back when they were in middle school. Back when the most Spencer knew about Toby Cavanaugh was what Alison had told her. And she'd gotten quite loathing of him around that time. Just a week before their upcoming chat Ali'd said what a pervasive horndog he was when she supposedly spotted him peeping through Emily's bedroom window while they were having one of their weekend sleepovers.

"I don't think Toby would do that -" Emily had said without pause.

"Then why do I see his buggy eyes poking out from behind the curtains?"

The girls all rushed to Emily's window seat and crammed their faces to the glass. Their eyes flickered to the house across the way for any source of movement.

"I think I saw him!" Aria noted what they'd later realize was only a trick of the mind.

"Why would he want to spy on us?" Spencer had asked.

"He's reached that age, girls." she spoke matter of factly. "He's upgraded from comic books to playboys."

"_Ali_!" They all laughed in unison.

From that time onward, Alison never had a good word to say about that pubescent boy. The girls had questioned her change of heart, she'd never talked much of him before hand, if she had, it had been that of simple indifference. But she had shrugged her behavioral revelation off.

"He's the one that's changed, not me."

Her hatred ran strong a few days later at school when she spotted Emily gabbing with him over by her locker. Alison reacted like a pitbull watching a mailman. She pounced.

"Get away from her you creep!" Alison belted down the hallway, striding through waves of people, the rest of the girls in toe.

"Ali we were just -" Emily said meekly.

"It doesn't matter," she put up a hand to silence her, "the more you talk to this weirdo, the more he'll have to put in the shrine of you he has in the back of his closet."

Some people around them snickered, it seemed a crowd was beginning to encircle the young trio. It should have been expected, people seem to follow Ali like sheep to a shepard.

"What did I ever do to you?" Toby spoke sourly through rosebud cheeks.

"Don't associate with him girls," Ali spoke with a glance over her shoulder at Hanna, Spencer and Aria, blantinly ignoring Toby's questioning. "he's a loser and a freak," her eyes flared viciously, "just like his mother…"

"My mom is not a freak." He responded heatedly, but his face had gone ghost white from her words. His eyes began to dart between all those that had gathered around then. Whatever Alison did always created a show.

Toby gave Alison one last loathing glance before pushing his way through the crowd.

"What did I tell you?" Ali said, the corners of her mouth curling up.

She really was twisted. It's like she found joy in peoples insecurities. And now she'd added Toby Cavanaugh to the endless list of people she thought were beneath her, right along with Mona and the kid who ran the science club.

But why? Other than being a bit quiet, Toby didn't seem to be anything very out of the ordinary. He had average grades and he took woodshop, that's all Spencer knew about him. Then again, Alison never really had to have a reason to be callous.

Still, Spencer was curious, especially after that comment about his mom. If her anger really was from what she allegedly saw through Emily's window, what could his mom have to do with it?

Spencer figured asking _her_ mother - the all knowing women of Rosewood - would be her best shot at getting an answer. Especially when Alison wasn't the most reliable source for information. Besides, her mother really did seem to know everything about everything. It must have been a lawyer thing.

So that afternoon, as soon as her mother walked through the front door, Spencer hurled the question at her. And her mother, briefcase still in hand, had been reluctant to give her the answer, which she unsurprisingly _did_ know.

"This really isn't any of your business Spencer. It's nothing you need to concern yourself with."

But Spencer was persistent, telling her it was important and that she promised not to tell anyone. Veronica watched warily as her youngest daughter stared at her with her doe eyes. And while that may have been a contributing factor, what really swayed her was Spencer's semi-honest admittance, 'people at school were talking about it'.

Her face grew concern. "It's none of any of their business, they should just leave that poor Cavanaugh boy alone."

Spencer pleed again "Maybe if I knew I could help him."

"Spencer, I don't think there's really anything you can do -" The relentless doe eyes cut her short.

After a few moments and a long breath, her mother finally told her. She told her that Toby's mother had been seeing a psychiatrist for a few months. Just recently though, the doctor recommended she receive 'further assistance'. Based off that and numerous other factors, her husband checked her into Radley Sanitarium the next day.

"Why? Why did she need 'further assistance'?"

"Goodness Spencer can I at least sit down before you bombard me with questions? I think I've gotten enough of that today."

Spencer kept her eyes trained on her mother.

Her mother signed defeatedly, "She was thought to be a danger to herself… possibly others."

After getting answers she wasn't excepting, Spencer's mind was racing with hypotheses. Maybe Toby's mom had done something to hurt Ali. That may have been enough basis to be upset. Even if it was misplaced aggression. But saying that in her head, Spencer really didn't believe it. Most likely, it was just Ali being cruel like always. She actually wished it was the former.

It was later that day, after her new revelation, that Spencer and Toby were due to have their run in.

Spencer had managed to escape her house on the grounds of a science project on volcanic rock she and Emily had to finish.

She had just conveniently failed to mention that they had handed the project in the previous day.

In high spirits that she would be able to spend her tuesday night outside of a desk piled sky high with textbooks, Spencer paraded joyfully down the block to Emily's house. Her mind was void of anything Cavanaugh related until she reached a white picket boarder immediately before the fields front yard. She slowed her steps when she caught a human sized shadow on the properties porch. She studied the figure as it became clearer with every smooth stride. It seemed to be fiddling with some large object on the top step. It wasn't until Spencer mindlessly halted in front of the stubby white gate that she was really able to take in the mass and his task.

Unsure of what move to make from her current position, Spencer touched he knuckles gently to a piece of fence and knocked softly. Toby's head shot up towards her, his blue eyes flashing from startled to bewilderment before returning to the gears on the bicycle his hands were furiously working on.

"I don't think you're suppose to be here" he spoke in a matter of fact tone.

"I'm sorry," the words flooded out of her in a waterfall "for - for what Alison said, about your mom…"

There was a slight pause, possibly of surprise, possibly of disgust, before a muffled sarcastic comment was responded, "Thanks."

"I didn't know before," she continued, in a grasp for an excuse. She still stood planted in front of the unlocked windblown gate "about what happened…"

Toby's eyes grew wide, she could tell now because he was finally making eye contact with her. But dispite his wide eyes, his voice rang out with coarse resolve.

"That's comforting" He spat.

Spencer's eyes narrowed, no matter her reason for stopping in the first place, she was not one to be pushed around. "You know I'm trying to apologize -"

"Yeah, and your apology means a lot."

She took a few aggressive steps through the gate, "What is that suppose to mean?"

"It means that if you didn't like what your friend Alison was saying, you could have said something then."

"I didn't know -"

"You didn't know what? That she was treating me like I was roadkill? No one should be treated that way, regardless of what you do or don't know."

They stared each other down for a few moments as Spencer tried to formulate a response. Spencer'd watched Alison torment people's lives for years, in private, in public, to tears. But no matter how much the girls had told her it was cruel and to stop, they would somehow stay stuck in the Ali vortex, watching themselves stand idly by as she basically shoved kids into lockers simply because she thought they were 'beneath her'. How do you validate someones behavior you don't agree with? The vortex pulled at her and her loyalties forced her to try. "Look, Alison…"

"I know about Alison." He interrupted. But he didn't say it in the way people who'd heard rumors and gossip about the blonde did, the people who would turn a corner if they saw Alison strutting towards them. There was experience behind his words, like maybe he knew something about her friend that she didn't.

As though on que, another voice broke in, "Are you girls just looking to get killed in your sleep?" Alison's rang out.

Spencer's blood suddenly felt hot and all the defending she was planning to do was lost. Her head snapped around to Alison, "Knock it off Ali."

"Sorry if it's a little too gruesome for you Spence but that's what you'll get if you hang around with Toby the-phsyco Cavanaugh"

"Can you ever not be so malicious?"

Alison placed a domineering hand on her hip, "_Excuse me?_"

"You heard what I said. Do you think you could possibly go a single day without being a bitch to someone?"

Her mouth slid slightly open before she turned a blaming eye on the boy still parked on his porch behind Spencer, "What are you trying to do to her? Get your crazy weirdo thoughts into her head?" Toby simply glared at her.

"This isn't about him, Ali." Spencer shouted "this is about me, about all of us, being so tired of you and how you treat everyone."

Alison's eyes narrowed to snake like proportions, a fire blazing behind her pupils. "This is a lot coming from the girl who made Trisha Howard cry this afternoon."

"What? What are you talking about?"

"You going around boasting about that mathlete award you got while Trisha has to go tell her crazy strict parents, who'll probably beat her for it, she didn't."

"That's not -" Spencer fumbled through her distracted anger, "I didn't make her cry."

"Might as well have." Ali snipped, "Maybe if you weren't so conceded Trisha wouldn't be getting whipped by her fathers belt right -"

"Stop it!" Spencer cried out.

The putrid curl of Ali's lips at Spencer's anguish was enough to put her on the naughty list for life. "We better go inside," she sang pleasantly, "Emily's waiting for us." So with a slit eyed glare at the silent observer, Alison turned on her heels and marched down the sidewalk.

Spencer watched as she walked, not bothering to look if her friend was following her, out Toby's gate. Spencer stayed planted, trying to comprehend the conversation that had just unfolded. Turning her head slowly, she looked at the boy behind her. She was almost afraid to look, for some reason, she cared what this boy thought of her and she knew he couldn't be thinking much after Ali's confession. She had come with the intention of apologizing for Ali's deeds and he had found out she was doing very much the same thing. Spencer prayed for any sort of understanding for her misgivings in his deep sea eyes but the boy on the porch's features were unreadable, his jaw locked and his lips formed a hard line. His eyes were the only think Spencer could take anything away from as she watched them, trained like daggers on the blond leaving the premises. The sharp look didn't waver when he sent his gaze at Spencer. She wasn't sure if he was still thinking about the event that had just unfolded, or about sticking an actual dagger in their backs.

She couldn't really blame him for the latter.

Spencer quickly made the obedient move to follow her friend, pretending she couldn't feel the metal blade poking her in the spine.

Five years later and that conversation was still vivid in her mind. No matter how hard she'd tried to get it out.

She wondered how Toby was ever able to love her after days like that.

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**Hey, using the B word is a much bigger deal when you realize they're only about 13. haha**

**Another thing, I believe Toby's place is suppose to be a loft but for the purpose of this story I think it was important to have rooms to separate them so it's now more of an apartment (yup this stories going completely AU haha) Anyway, we don't even really know the whole layout of Toby's loft yet (but I think we'll get to see a lot more of it in 4B ;D)  
**

**Also, you get a cookie if you can tell me what you think prompted Ali's sudden change in behavior. ;)**

**(ps: sorry for the winky faces...)**

** Some intense Spoby talk next chapter :)**


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